Matandang Dalaga

So, how does this REALLY works?  I want my guy to open doors for me, pull my chair, carry heavy stuff for me, you know...be treated with gentleness. With equality, do I need to be gentle to him, too? I also want him to pick up the tab and be the provider of the family. Of course, I'll help but I want my main job to the children and him. With equality, doe he get to demand that he stays with the kids as much as I do? I still reserve the right to not say what I want and be angry when I don't get it. With equality, do they get to throw tantrums too? I reserve the right to say I am not mad or jealous and expect him to know if I am really not mad or jealous of he should run for his life. With equality, can he say something and actually mean something else and expect me to know the difference? Click here and learn how to avoid being a matandang dalaga. 

Go for coffee or snack If you are working, it will advisable to meet during your coffee break or lunch. That way, if you don't like how the date is going, you can bail easily because you have to go back to work. If you like how the date is going, then you can set a proper date or exchange numbers. Talk about work and hobbies One of the best ways to get to know someone's character is to know his attitude about work, his interests and hobbies. You'll know if he is the guy with ambition, honest, principled, the way he treats other people, the way he views other people, etc. At the same time, it's not too intimate and not too personal. You'll be able to gauge if he is the kind of guy you would at least want to get to know enough for a next date. It's also a good time to know whether he is the kind of guy that would share your interest, do the things you like such as traveling or whatever it is you are into.

I've done a lot of stupid thing in my past relationships, haven't we all? But there are things I vow to never again do in my next relationship . 1) I will never be with a guy who is lazy with his work or profession. I don't care what that profession is, for as long as it is legal and moral (for me). I just need him to be a hard worker and smart worker. 2) I will never be with someone who has no passion. 3) I will never be with someone who will make me pay for dates. I know that as the relationship progresses, I will of course give my share and I'm not a leach. I earn my keeps and I've earned my own money since I was 15 but the guy should never rely on me. When we do get married and we hit a bump, then of course we will be partners but while we are going out, I will never pay for him. If he wants me enough, he needs to work hard to provide our future family a decent life .

I've had my share of drama queens and kings in my life. I still have some of them, the ones I can't get rid of either because I love them too much or they just refuse to go even after being kicked out of my life. Click here to read about Relationship Checklist. There is one unforgettable drama king and queen in my past who have had tremendously insane effects in my life but that's another post. This drama king and queen were a couple. I was very close to both of them. As such, I was often the shock absorber. Whenever they fight, they tell me. That's fine. What is not fine is that they expect me to get in between them. It was ludacris. I could hardly fix my own [then] relationship, why the hell would they expect me to fix theirs? The guy had one particular habit, testing the love and fidelity of the girl. Every now and then, he would do stuff that is set to prove or disprove she is being true like texting her from a different number to flirt with her. If she resp...

Dating the bad boy... hmmm. I am one of those who gravitate towards bad boys. They don’t necessarily have to be someone who served time or beat up people to death just for the heck of it. The rebellious, I-am-not-fond-of-giving-fuck kind of guy does just fine.    Click here if you want to know why I became more romantic when I turned 35. I think I was born with it. Growing up, my crushes were the bad boy athletes. There weren’t even actors or singers. They were the tough athletes or the cursing, Chucks-with-tattered-levis in a formal meeting kind of guy. I don’t know why exactly but I have several theories. One, it has a lot to do with feeling special and next to the basic needs, feeling important on top of people’s needs. We all like being special. What’s more special than being able to tame the lion?

I've never cheated but then again it may be because of the lack of opportunity. As I've said before, I'm neither pretty nor attractive. "Opportunities" don't present themselves to me. Getting one boyfriend is already a stretch for me. I never found myself in a position to have two. So, it's probably unfair to say I am faithful because that has never really been tested. What I do know for sure is that I'm not even interested. When I'm in a relationship, I am focused on the guy I am with. Sure, I have crushes but those are nothing more than infatuation that are more superficial than a 4th-grade crush. I have been cheated on which was pretty amazing considering the guy wasn't particularly good looking. I thought that if you ever get into a relationship with someone that's not good looking, you will have some semblance of security that he will not cheat. Apparently, getting someone to like you has nothing to do with how you look.

I have traveled alone countless of times because most of the friends I have are already married and can't just pack their bags to leave with me. During our younger years, we didn't have enough money to travel to places we wanted to see and now that we finally are in that financial situation when we an afford it, they are already married. I am not the kind to put things on hold. I don't want to wait when I will have a boyfriend that will go with me in my travels. I have the money and time now so I go. Below are some of the places I have visited and would recommend to those who are over 30. Even if you go to these places alone, you will find someone to see the places the with once you are there. That's why I am recommending these place.   Bangkok It's not a family place like HongKong. It's where you go if you want to: A. Shop - the exchange rate is almost 1:1 and the clothes and accessories there are so cheap. The things you buy here for Php2,000, ...

When you decide to quit your job and start a new career at 30, the idea is that you shouldn't be afraid. You should have done enough in your 20s to not give a damn about anything but your own interest. You shouldn't be scared to start something new because you should have been able to do everything you "needed to do" in your 20s. At 30, you should just care about what you want to do. I quit my lucrative 9-5 a little over a  year ago because... I just didn't want to work for anybody anymore. Ten years in advertising was enough for me. I couldn't take it anymore. At 34, I was forced to explore a new a career, one that I like and wouldn't mind doing for the rest of my life. There were different considerations:

How do you find a date when you are over 30? Seriously. Men that are also over 30 are most likely already married or about to get married. Those that are married are most likely not interested in marriage or are interested in marrying someone ten years younger than you are or are interested in marrying another bachelor. At 30, you're pretty much set in your life. You are supposed to have made all the friends you are going to make in your life. The new ones you'll make are less likely to establish the kind of bond you have with your friends from younger years. Click here and read about the different "roles" in a relationship.

I don’t believe in New Year’s resolution but endings and beginnings have a special way of making people lethargic or, at the very least, nostalgic. So, I’ll do a reflection instead… however twisted it may be. Things I Lost in 2012 Hair. Lots of it. I shed like a monkey on chemo. Apartment. We stayed there for more seven years and the landlord decided to raise our rent. As much as we love the peace and quiet it was just impractical. Pants. I just buy Levi’s, it’s practical. I end up using it for years but it’s not that expensive. I lost a pair and my sister blames it on our former help. She said the maid took it with her when the maid left. It was my favorite pair.

My parents never understood why I find tattooed guys who just might have never combed their seemingly unshampooed hair wearing an unironed hole-filled shirt paired with a tattered pair of blue jeans attractive.  They never liked the guys I liked but I never liked the guys they liked either, the kind that prefers a suit as their everyday wear, the kind that will never go out of the house unless their entire outfit is coordinated, the kind that always wears shirts with a collar and wears nothing but a newly shined pair of shoes. They like guys that work behind a desk from 8 to 5, attend meetings in a conference room filled with equally put together group of guys with degrees from universities that take your soul whenever you enrol. I have nothing against those guys and I’ve been in a relationship with one but those guys are not the subject of my fantasies. They certainly aren’t the kind that would make me tremble to the bones. In fact, overly put together men are eith...

They say we are most likely to regret the things we chose not to do than the things we did. I always thought that’s a lot of shit and it is but it’s the kind of shit that we need in our life… actually, it’s the kind of shit that we need to jump into, fully submerge ourselves and come out of it stinking and beaten. After 34 years, tonight… when the moon is nowhere in sight, the voice of Gary and Gil (LeesSang) is wringing in my head, my coffee cup is empty and I’m irritated at the noise of my neighbors that I’m seriously considering poking a huge hole on their car tires… I realized I didn’t make enough mistakes. I was so darn scared of doing anything that could result to some permanent damage that I chose to always be on the safe side. It is true that I have pretty much been able to avoid some major injuries (no child out of wedlock, no clan-wide humiliation) and I am thankful for that.

When I was younger, I remember seeing some people eating alone in a restaurant and thinking 'how sad that they can't find someone to eat with'. Now, I eat alone too... and often. I don't mean just sitting in Starbucks (I don't like their coffee) with a laptop in front of me. I mean going in a restaurant to eat alone. Sometimes, I look around to find younger people who might be looking at me thinking exactly what I thought when I was their age. And when I do find someone looking at me, I fight the urge to b!tchsl@p them. Kidding (or not). It's one of those moments when you realize you know exactly what they are thinking because you've been there too.

Apparently, here are the "rules": 1. During the early days of dating, the girl should offer to pay half the bill but the guy should say politely say no to the offer. 2. When a guy is courting a girl and someone asks if they are in the courtship stage, the guy should be the one to answer and admit he is courting her. 3. When they are already in a relationship and someone asks if they are, the girl should answer it. 4. The first date should be casual. Something like, coffee or a snack. That way, either could bail early and soon if it's not working out.