Matandang Dalaga

I would love to just have the chance to put some people in their place and make them realize that my civil status is really none of their business. It's just that I am supposed to know better and responding how I really want to respond would only make me go down to their level, sound defensive or a plain old b!tch. Oh well... 1. Because I figured it is better than being married to a womanizing minimum-wage earner guy like your husband. 2. Because I am smart enough to know that I have this habit of bearing with stupid men. Now you know why I'm still talking with you. 3. I don't want to end up like your wife. 10 Things You Should Never Do For A Man. Click here. 4. Why haven't you graduated from college yet? 5. Why do you keep on borrowing money from me?

If I had gotten pregnant at 15, I will already have a daughter or son that's old enough to get married. Of course I didn't. Otherwise, I'd be naming my blog matandangina.com However, I don't really go around my life thinking "I'm 34, I'm 34, I'm 34" with every step that I make. In fact, I often forget I am old enough to be a grandmother... damn it, I am a grandmother... but you get the point. So... there are times when I see a guy in his mid 20s and find him attractive. I check him out and I continue to do so before something happens that forces me to realize that I am 10 damn years older than he is like not being asked for an ID when I buy wine or beer or feeling some back pain I used to hear from my grand mother, may she rest peace. Letter to my future son.  Last week, a friend who is 23 at best called me 'baby'. I didn't pay attention to it the same way I didn't pay attention to his passes since I met him. He is very,...

It starts with those darn fairytales and movies, I guess. The prince that is set to rule a kingdom, tall, handsome and falls in love with the girl at first sight. One sight, that's all it takes for the prince to move hell and high water to be with you. As you transition from fairytale to teeny bopper movies, the kingdom disappears and it is replaced by the guy next door who got it all good, a good son, rich, good looking and desired by many women but he only desires you. As the Sweet Valley High is replaced by Hollywood, you start realizing that the boy next door can't be true. That the bad boy may actually be more... and hotter too. You want someone that has played the field, passionate but misunderstood and has gotten into one too many troubles but straightens his path for you. He turns everything around and get things together so he can deserve you. He walks the straight path but isn't afraid to turn all bad if it is for you. Then you realize that bad boy doesn...

When you get to this age and still be single with no prospect in sight, it is but natural to lean towards being a feminist and devote your time and effort becoming a fulfilled woman. It’s great. After all, if only for the sheer act of respecting the history of women, women should continuously make an effort to live a life that leaves lasting impact. What you shouldn’t do, however, is to continuously try and prove yourself to be a woman of quality or worthy of adulations to anyone but yourself. There is one more thing. Stop being a feminist and start being a humanist. It’s not about being a fulfilled woman but a fulfilled human. The only time you know there is equality is when people don’t pay attention to the difference anymore and see people as people, not through their sex organs. If you’re still single and way in your 30s with no prospect in sight , it’s about being unattractive to men, it’s about having all the time in your hand, with nothing to distract you, so you c...

Those people who says they wouldn't change a thing in their past, I am not like them. There's like tons of I would rather not have done or have done. Yeah, I do believe that everything I am now is a product of the decisions I've made in the past but I have to admit that I screwed up some people in the past big time. I hurt some people that I love and treated other people in a way they absolutely don't deserve. I held back when I should have given more and I stayed when I should have left. Yes, everything I am now is a product of the decisions I've made but I sure would have saved so many people some pain and trouble had I known better. I also would have made things easier for me or would have avoided passing up on some dreams had I known better. If only I could have met the younger me, here are the things I'll advise her to do. Sometimes, pain is inevitable. It's just a matter of hurting now or hurting later. Choose 'now'. You will ge...

Alcatraz, before it became a popular tourist spot, was a maximum security prison. They call it the prison of prisoners. When prisoners in other prisons commit crimes while inside the prison may be sent here. Rumors has it that prisoners in Alcatraz were used for questionable medical experiments. Others talk about guards torturing prisoners. There are also talks about inhumane conditions. Those are the supposed reasons prisoners are trying to escape and the Great Escape of 1946, where 25 prison guards got hurt, happened. None of those are true. In fact, the prison cells are better than my childhood home (I didn't have my own room growing up). They got enough food that's approved by a nutritionist. They get proper medical attention and educational privileges. However, It is true that Alcatraz is the the most cruel prison the US because of the location. It is located one mile away from the shore of San Francisco. From almost any point of the prison, the prisoners can see S...

The guy finally got married. Never thought that would happen. With all the beautiful women he passed on, George Cooney seemed content at dating the hottest women with potential Hollywood stardom in town but far from settling down. No one faulted him for it. After all, he is a hot guy who is successful in everything he does… and he knows how to take advantage of everything he has. Women preferred him being single. As long as he was available, every woman has a chance, no matter how remotely. He also expressed his contentment about being single, claiming he was happy in the relationships he keeps, those with his childhood friends and family. He didn’t say he was shutting down any possibility of marriage but he also said it wasn’t a “must” for him, not even a dream. He was happy to be single and the world was too. Then he married Amal Alamuddin, a British-Lebanese author and lawyer. The world was shocked but also in awe of the fact that the epitome of bachelor hotness didn’...

I haven't written in a while. It's not because of the lack of something to say. In fact, it's the opposite. Too many things are happening that I could have written here three times a day and still wouldn't be able to get get it all out. It has been a balance of good and bad but it was never short of lessons. However, most of the bad comes with with good and I've learned that it is always better to shut up when the things I want to say could damage other people's reputation and also mine. After all, it will be my words and my point of view. Most of the time, what people say about other people is the reflection of the character of the person talking not the person being talked about. So, I shut up. However, I am finally in that stage when I am able to practice some self restraint. I am also able to use my brain enough for me to know the consequences of what I will say. One thing I want to get out is my experience with my first job. Coming h...

After almost two decades working for the creative industry, there are certain quirks that have become a part of me. Humor, for one, is a welcome thing in advertising agencies. It's both a defensive mechanism and a necessary first aid kit. When all hope is lost, when you realize you are surrounded by idiots who don't realize that they are idiots, when unreasonable demands are insisted, you have three options, kill someone, kill yourself or find the funny. Artistry and self expression is another. This is one industry where individuality is encouraged. After all, it is supposedly a creative industry. It's all about getting all the advantages you can. When all else are equal, what makes you unique? It worked for me until I moved here. When I applied for a job and was asked to send in a resume, I sent a creative one. I figured that with the low employment rate, I needed to get noticed and rise above the clutter. I got called for an interview the same day I submi...

Heartbreaks suck especially if you are the one that got left behind. The thought of not having the bragging rights in the future that it was you who dumped your ex is scary but no matter how bad it may seem, there are things worse than a heartbreak. If people will only learn how to remember these things when they want to kill themselves after a breakup, this world will be a better place. #1. Dieting I have been on a diet since I arrived. It has been four months and I still look like a cupcake. My waistline is still nowhere to be found and the sides of my tummy still look like the silhouette of a cupcake when I wear jeans. Prior to that four months, I went on a fruit diet back home. I did it for one year and I still didn't lose weight. That is 16 months of dieting in total. Six freakin' teen months. I was over my last boyfriend after three months. The f! Click here for  "The Marketing of Religion".

Three months. I have been here three months. It has been fun except on days when I miss my family and friends... and fish balls... and pirated DVDs. It has also been enlightening. This is the first time I actually get to "live like a local" and along with it are some discoveries about the American culture. #1 They don’t iron their clothes My mother irons everything ESPECIALLY underwear. It touches our most sensitive part, she wants to make sure those germs die before we put it on. She would puke at the barbaric habit of Americans wearing unironed clothes. Nope, that won’t fly with my Mom. #2 They need to be careful with their adverb of manner & adjectives I was in a car with my friends and they all started complaining about the horrible traffic in 101. We were moving, 10 miles per hour and they call it “horrible traffic.” I wanted to scream, ‘101 got nothing on EDSA boy!’ Click here to read about “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and shit like...”

There are certain events in our lives that push us to take a hard look at ourselves and really come clean and be honest at what we will see. To some people, it’s losing a job or losing a love one. to some, it’s getting an award or getting married. To some, it’s seeing a newborn child and talking with a dying person. To me, it was while I was eating salad. Yes, it was eating a salad. After spending the whole morning “trying” to work and successfully reading Facebook be bombarded by people criticize the government for the slow response in the face of calamity, I realized something. I have a beef with all the parents and adults who didn’t evacuate the area hit by Yolanda. They were warned and were asked to evacuate but they refuse. As a result, it was their children who died and suffered. The refuse to “avoid” the calamity and now they double, if not triple, the gravity of the problem. That being said, the problem is already there. There is really nothing we can do ab...

There has to be at least one. If you're single, financially stable and in the Philippines, it seems like an unwritten mandate that you support one of your siblings or nieces or nephews to school. I am not sure how it happened. I just did. Every single person I met in my career with a "great career" has that one scholar. People around us started making babies without a rat's ass clue on how they will support the child's future and they proceeded anyway. Then somehow, they manage to find someone in their life who is single and earns money to enjoy the life of being single. Most of the time, it's a relative so it becomes some sort of an emotional obligation for that relative to care for the said child with uncertain future. Usually, it happens in stages. First, it's just money to pay for part of the tuition. The next year, they'll ask that you pay for the full fee and they'll pay you back. Of course, they'll never pay you back. In fact, ...

The only "family" I have here is my friend since high school. We have always been close. She's generous and kind. She has taken me in like a sister since I got here. Part of her "sisterly" thing is to have me join her close group of friends in their out of town adventures. She's a year older than I am and married. So are her friends.  In fact, their children are all grown up, except for one. They are all in their early to late 40s. We went out of town and we used two cars. The other car is where the teeners were. Naturally, I went with my friend, in the "oldies" car.  I have always pride myself for being able to "dig" into any interest from any generation. After all, I grew up listening to The Beatles and Elvis. I like both and a bunch of other songs and stuff from their generation. 

Scenario: Me with my two guy friends from college.  Me: So, how was the girl? (asking about our friend's girlfriend) Friend 1: She's okay. They complement each other.  Me: How?  Friend 1: She's very attentive to his needs. She likes taking care of him. He is one of us so he needs to be taken care of.  Friend 2: Oh, she's just like my wife.  Friend 1: She's just like my wife. She takes care of me. 

You ask for donation so you can build a church. Once the church is built, you ask for donation so you can maintain it. The expenses will include your personal expenses like food, electricity bills, clothing and other paraphernalia needed so you can do mass. My friend, let’s call him Ellie, arrived in our usual hang out place proposing we establish the Church of Ellie. “It will be the most liberal religion, ever” he said. We will preach love, living life the “best way you know how” and without judging the way other people live theirs. It’s all about setting your personal moral standards and living by it. That’s the doctrine.

My friend, let’s call him Milagro. Milagro is in a new relationship. We’re happy about it because he has been looking for someone for quite some time now. In fact, one of the reasons he decided to go back into being an employee is to find someone. He said that if he puts up his own business, he has less chances of meeting someone new. The thing is that she’s married, separated but married. I asked him how she feels about it. He said it works for him because: He doesn’t have to marry her If she pursues an annulment, it will still take a long time so more time to be single He won’t be nagged about “the future of the relationship” because she’s the one that is hitched It will justify him looking for someone else because they can’t be a family unless she gets annulled Milagro, you’re such a genius.

I still don’t know what the deal is. So you record the most intimate thing you can ever do in your life. You don’t mean it to be public. It’s something you wanted to keep with your partner, for whatever purpose it may serve you. No one can fault you for it because, as they say, whatever you do in the privacy of your home, is your business. Until the sex tape comes out, gets on YouTube and other video uploading sites.  Yes, it should not have come out. Just like Chito Miranda, you made sure no one gets a copy of it except it turns out that you’re not sure because the tape did get out and now the whole world can watch you having sex. It wasn’t supposed to be your fault. It's a personal property and everyone is supposed to respect your property, right? It’s no different from having a  phone. Whatever you put there should be confidential. If it gets stolen, who stole it is held liable. 

How are you? I searched for your name in Facebook . You didn't show up.  You were a grade higher and we never really interacted so you probably don't know who I was or who I am. However, you pursued my batchmate. I was not close to her so I don't know much about your relationship. I just hears a few things about your relationship but never enough for me to know what was going on.  I knew that you broke up and, apparently, it was because the parents didn't want the two of your together. She transferred to another school in our junior year and I suppose it left your broken hearted. I overheard you talking about her one time. You said that you saw her and that she didn't change. She was still bubbly and pretty.  Click here to read "Marrying Age is Getting Older." I thought it was sweet but of course I was a little jealous. If it was me you pursued, you would not have been broken hearted, you would have been a loser.  I barely remember your face now....

I belong to the popular group in high school. It wasn’t because I was popular, it was because they thought I was smart so they befriended me. By the time they realized I wasn’t smart, it was too late. They were stuck with me.  I am not really sure what role I played in our group. We were a mix of beauty and brains. The smartest in the batch belonged to our group. The Ms. Campus on our Sophomore, Junior and Senior year belonged to our group. We had a friend who was also a member of the national swimming team. We had another member who was a great artist. I, on the other hand, was the odd one out.  Click here to read about  the childhood fantasies I still keep. The Pretty One / The Jock As I’ve said, the Ms. Campus for three years belonged to our group. That means we had, at least, three pretty ones in our group. One was tall and dark, one was downright charming and the other one sophisticatedly pretty. They weren’t fashionistas. In fact, they were very simple bu...